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My amalgamated Smiths love letter

March 7, 2013

For those of you who visit my site for record store or concert reviews, perhaps this isn’t for you.  I’m trying something new here but if it doesn’t appeal to you, I apologize for that in advance and of course please feel free to just skip it (as if you need my permission).  But I really wanted to try something different, so here goes. 

This is an imaginary love letter written entirely in lyrics from songs by the Smiths (no solo Morrissey songs).  Not a single stray word or phrase was added that doesn’t come directly from a Smiths song.  Why do this?  I have no idea.  Seemed like kind of a fun thing to do. Though “fun” is a strange word to use given the content of this letter. What can I say? The Smiths gave me a lot to work with, but it’s all on the pretty depressing side.  Maybe one day I’ll do one of these using only songs by the Beatles and it will be a lot more upbeat (she loves you, yeah yeah yeah).  In the meantime, here is my amalgamated Smiths love letter:


Stop me if you think that you’ve heard this one before.[1]  Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me.[2] Under the iron bridge we kissed.[3]  I dreamt about you last night.[4]  And although I ended up with sore lips it just wasn’t like the old days anymore.[5]  Just another false alarm.[6]

I dreamt about you last night and I fell out of bed twice.[7] And when I’m lying in my bed I think about life and I think about death and neither one particularly appeals to me.[8]  Take me out tonight.  Oh take me anywhere, I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care.[9]  Don’t go home tonight.  Come out and find the one that you love and who loves you.[10]  Driving in your car I never never want to go home.[11]  Hand in glove we can go wherever we please.[12]  If there’s something you’d like to try, ask me – I won’t say “no”, how could I?[13]  And if the people stare then, the people stare.  I really don’t know and I really don’t care.[14]  I’m here with the cause, I’m holding the torch in the corner of your room. Can you hear me?[15]  Take my hand and off we stride.[16] The good life is out there somewhere.[17]

And do you think you’ve made the right decision this time?[18] Oh, I know I’m unlovable. You don’t have to tell me. For message received loud and clear.[19]  But you won’t change the way I feel, ‘cause I love you.[20]  Love is natural and real. But not for you, my love.[21]  Oh yes, you can kick me, and you can punch me, and you can break my face but you won’t change the way I feel. ‘Cause I love you.[22]  Nothing’s changed.  I still love you, oh I still love you …only slightly less than I used to.[23]  Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking.[24]  Bigmouth strikes again, and I’ve got no right to take my place with the human race.[25] Am I still ill?[26]

I want the one I can’t have and it’s driving me mad.[27]  And if a double-decker bus crashes in to us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.  And if a ten ton truck kills the both of us, to die by your side, well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine.[28]  Two lovers entwined pass me by and heaven knows I’m miserable now.[29]  I wear black on the outside ‘cause black is how I feel on the inside.[30] This story is old, I know, but it goes on.[31]

If I seem a little strange that’s because I am.[32] And is it really so strange? I say “no”, you say “yes” (but you will change your mind).[33]  I am human and I need to be loved just like everybody else does.[34]  I’ve spent six years on your trail. Six full years of my life on your trail.[35]  Life is very long, when you’re lonely.[36]  So for once in my life let me get what I want.  Lord knows it would be the first time.[37]

It’s so easy to laugh; it’s so easy to hate. It takes guts to be gentle and kind.[38]  Please keep me in mind.[39]  Learn to love me.[40]  You’re the bee’s knees but so am I.[41]  I don’t have much in my life but take it, it’s yours.[42]  “But she doesn’t even LIKE me! And I know because she said so.”[43]  “But it’s not like any other love.  This one’s different because it’s us!”[44]  I stole and I lied, and why? Because you asked me to. But now you make me feel so ashamed because I’ve only got two hands. Well, I’m still fond of you. [45]  Fifteen minutes with you.[46]  You can pin and mount me like a butterfly.[47] Please please please let me, let me, let me, let me get what I want this time.[48]  Scratch my name on your arm with a fountain pen (this means you really love me).[49]

The passing of time leaves empty lives waiting to be filled.[50]  I know my luck too well and I’ll probably never see you again.[51]  See I’ve already waited too long and all my hope is gone.[52]  I’ll never make that mistake again.[53]  Love is natural and real but not for such as you and I, my love. [54]  It’s over, over, over.[55]  Goodbye my love, goodbye my love.[56] Bye bye bye bye bye…[57] but maybe in the next world.[58]

[1] From the song “Stop Me If You Think You’ve Heard This One Before”.  I will annotate each lyric with the related song.

[2] “Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me”

[3] “Still Ill”

[4] “Reel Around the Fountain”

[5] “Still Ill”

[6] “Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me”

[7] “Reel Around the Fountain”

[8] “Nowhere Fast”

[9] “There is a Light That Never Goes Out”

[10] “Sheila Take a Bow”

[11] “There is a Light That Never Goes Out”

[12] “Hand in Glove”

[13] “Ask”

[14] “Hand in Glove”

[15] “Rubber Ring”

[16] “Sheila Take a Bow”

[17] “Hand in Glove”

[18] “London”

[19] “Unlovable”

[20] “Is It Really So Strange?”

[21] “I Know It’s Over”

[22] “Is It Really So Strange?”

[23] “Stop Me If You Think You’ve Heard This One Before”

[24] “Bigmouth Strikes Again”

[25] “Bigmouth Strikes Again”

[26] “Still Ill”

[27] “I Want the One I Can’t Have”

[28] “There is a Light That Never Goes Out”

[29] “Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now”

[30] “Unlovable”

[31] “Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me”

[32] “Unlovable”

[33] “Is It Really So Strange?”

[34] “How Soon Is Now?”

[35] “Half a Person”

[36] “The Queen Is Dead”

[37] “Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want”

[38] “I Know It’s Over”

[39] “Well I Wonder”

[40] “Shoplifters of the World Unite”

[41] “Reel Around the Fountain”

[42] “Unlovable”

[43] “Girl Afraid”

[44] “Hand in Glove”

[45] “What Difference Does It Make?”

[46] “Reel Around the Fountain”

[47] “Reel Around the Fountain”

[48] “Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want”

[49] “Rusholme Ruffians”

[50] “Rubber Ring”

[51] “Hand in Glove”

[52] “How Soon Is Now?”

[53] “Girl Afraid”

[54] “I Know It’s Over”

[55] “I Know It’s Over”

[56] “Death at One’s Elbow”

[57] “Asleep”

[58] “Death of a Disco Dancer”

From → Music

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